A Community for Swinburne University (Sarawak Campus)
A new year swings in and before you know it, the semester has already started. Old students return while freshies enrol into their courses and carry their luggage up the hostels’ staircase. There’s a lot of new faces!
Legs are getting workouts in climbing stairs and running in between classes and departments. Tutorials are being joined, lectures attended, timetables arranged. Say hello to Week One.
Welcome back fellas.
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend – You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. “A Ship is always safe at the shore – but that is NOT what it is built for” - Albert Einstein
During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises
(touching door handles etc.)
An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects – while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated
and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated
and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore
from one of the guests.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples’ anal gases.
HAVE A GREAT DAY…
AND WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!!
Noruz in Persian language means “New Day”. It’s more than thousands of years that people of the Greater Iran have been celebrating the commencement of spring, the season of beauty and life as the beginning of their new year. Spring brings beauty, peace and defeats the coldness and darkness. Spring is when everyone would love to go out and see the earth, flowers and trees flourishing to start a new life for another year. Spring brings the message of hope and getting reborn, eliminating the coldness and darkness from inside our hearts and joining the nature in starting a new year of life, to enjoy all the beauties our Lord has offered us with his infinitive generousness.
Noruz marks the first day of spring and the beginning of the Iranian year. It is celebrated on the day of the astronomical vernal equinox (the start of spring in the northern hemisphere), which occurs on March 20. At the time of the equinox, the sun is observed to be directly over the equator and the north and south poles of the Earth lie along the solar terminator; sunlight is evenly divided between the north and south hemispheres.
During Noruz, Iranians set up a table, called “Haft Sin” meaning “Seven S”. Haft S?n (??? ???) or the seven ‘S’s is a major tradition of Noruz. The haft sin table includes seven specific items starting with the letter ‘S’ or S?n (?) in Persian alphabet. The items symbolically correspond to seven creations and holy immortals protecting them. Traditionally, families attempt to set as beautiful a Haft S?n table as they can, as it is not only of traditional and spiritual value, but also noticed by visitors during Noruzi visitations and is a reflection of their good taste.
As I mentioned above Noruz is celebrated in Greater Iran, Caucasus, Central Asia and by Iranians worldwide. It is a public holiday in: Iran, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Kazakhstan, Kashmir, and Kyrgyzstan. Noruz is also celebrated by Kurds in Iraq and Turkey as well as by Parsis in India and Pakistan.
Iranian New Year, Noruz starts accurately on 20th of March 2009 at 19:58′:58″ Kuala Lumpur time which is exactly when our Earth changes its position against Sun and the season of Spring starts in the northern hemisphere and that is why Iranian calendar is known as the world’s most accurate calendar.
This year, unlike the previous years, we will have Haft-Seen table in our school. We will set it up in the Lobby of block G and will be there from 16th of March till 23rd to distribute sweets among the students of this truly international university and also answer any of your questions.
See you there and happy New Year
Valentine's Day Teddy
It’s that time of the year again. Every where around the corner you can see red roses, chocolate, plushies and lovey-dovey couples. For those who are reading this, have you prepared something special for this particular day? Got a plan already? Decided on what to wear?
If you haven’t got anything, you can always pay a visit to those “Valentine’s Day-Only” stalls by the roadside, usually located near bus stops. Heard that they operate til midnight. Example :
A friend of mine told me that this celebration is also an awareness day, which is Single’s Awareness Day. Sadly, I’m also part of the awareness T_T
Hey guys! The Swinburne Sarawak Student Council Recruitment Drive is back again!
For those who missed the last recruitment drive, here your chance again!
We are calling students who are interested to be members of the SSSC for 2009 term.
We need students who are willing to work with other student leaders to coordinate and organize activities for the benefit of the majority of students in Swinburne.
We are looking for 1 representative from all schools except SOLF, 1 representative from the Male and Female Hostel, 1 from each category of clubs (sports/recreation and academic) and 1 from the International Student Club.
If you have been in Swinburne for at least one semester and achieve a CGPA of 2.5 or above and you are of good conduct, please send in your CV to the following email:
or
4182189@student.swinburne.edu.my
Closing date for submission of CV is Monday 30th March 2009.
Having trouble creating on of your own CV? feel free to reach us to ask : 4182189@student.swinburne.edu.my / highfantasy87@hotmail.com ( Alex Lim)
We are waiting for hear from you.
After the Open Day, our university has become very quiet…everybody has gone back for the holidays or busy with part-time jobs. What about you guys? Enjoying your holidays? I just reached home from Sabah.
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