Relationship or Friendship
Errrmm… tired after the Grand Opening…
WY said I can write whatever I want here…This is just something in my mind that I cant help anymore. I just need some people opinion on this topic. I don’t know how to start. Sometimes… we need to choose between relationship and friendship. I believe in “when you get bf/gf, you will lose some friends”.
From my female friends:
When they have new bf, they will still close to me or any friends. Only that they don’t have much time anymore, will spend the time with their own bf. And… they will only look for their friends, when they having problems or fight with the bf (me, myself is like that too, I’m admit that). They will not lose their male friends, because the bf is not easy to feel jealous, they won’t control their gf much.
From my male friends:
Aduh….
When they have gf… Everything changed.. I have a friend, who always on the phone with the gf all the time, when he is go out with us. Is a bit annoying for me, because, why not you just spent 2 or 3 hours with your friends without your gf? And the gf, always ask him to not do this and that because is embarrassing.
Aduh…when you like or love a guy, you will accept how bad and good they are. If my bf does something embarrassing is cute for me!!! And that is him, if that really make me feel shame, I will just cover my face.
MOST of the girls, they feel jealous SO EASY (including me)…!! That is really annoying; I hate it when I feel jealous. And girls, they LOVE to control the bf, can’t be friend with some girls; can’t go clubbing; can’t go out too late; complaint that the boy have no time for them. So annoying rite? (Actually I am like that too).
Some girls just too selfish, if you can’t believe your bf, then he is not the one for you. If you feel worry he will cheat one you, he is not the one. I can’t help it, because I’m a girl, I try my best to be better, but still jealousy always running around my head.
I hope I don’t have to feel what is ‘jealous’…!!
Girls…sometimes, you need to try understanding your bf, they are human like you. They have male and female friends. Don’t be selfish, but…you also need to watch out, because some boys might use the freedom you give for ‘something’ else. And remember, you are the gf, NOT the boss.
Boys… when your girl being moody whenever you with your friends (male and female), what will you do? Leave your friends and try to make her happy? Ck..ck…ck…she should understanding you…ck..ck…ck…ck.. She should know who are your friend before she be your gf.
I complaint a lot yah…whatever I wrote here, please, don’t ask me, who I’m talking about, because it’s including myself too. I’m still trying to be a nice gf for any boy who will be my bf LoL
Good nite!
Ps: I’m not really good in express something I want to say, so forgive me if I say something wrong.
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21 people talked!
It’s good to express feelings.
Let me give you something to think about.
What is so worthy of jealousy? (What gave birth to these negative emotions?)
And,
What is the purpose of being jealous?
=)
Aduh…
If i can answer your question, i will not feel jealous…
Jealousy is not a good thing, but also not a bad thing.
There is no purpose of it, just spontaneity from your feeling.
Deep…. Very deep indeed…
I only know that, when my friends ( male ) got gf, they will just care of their girl. What 3 years friendship also gone. Thats why I think that, if possible, dont get a girl/boyfriend same school with you. Because You have to choose either love or friends, and you will lost your freedom eventually. You cant have both anyway. =)
But bear in mind that, friends last forever, If you are greedy, want to surpass the friendship line, it’s hard to walk back and be (normal) friend again. =)
Which human not jealousy? Which human not selfish? Everyone is the same, just the matter of how you handle those jealousy. I do feel jealous sometime too. But I dont care much, cause I know that jealous of someone is very stupid, just because i cant get what he has? In fact, the main reason why someone is jealous, is because he/she is greedy, hope for more. Try to know what is enough and what is satisfy.
Hope you get what i mean, and sorry if offended.
Jealousy is a normal feeling in everyone, we just need to control that feeling as we have limitations. I’m quite a jealous person myself but I try not to boast so much about it. It doesn’t make me feel better if I keep being jealous about/of someone else.
There’s no need to choose between relationship and friendship. Both exists and both will be in your life. It’s the matter of balancing both equally.
And if friends who have bf/gf and they tend to be too busy for you as friends, let it be. We cannot do much to ask them to stop spending more time with their partners than friends. It’ll only jeopardize your friendship or some friends might think you’re just jealous of their relationships.
*These are just my opinions, not relating to anyone.
p/s: Not all boyfriends are not easily jealous and non-control freaks, some could be worst than girlfriends.
Aiseh, Chen support me worr.
Relationship is a big responsibility. And other people will definitely have some comments on ours. A wise decision would be settling misunderstandings face to face, rather than to spread rumors.
I think it all depends on the individual on how they manage time between their friends and their other half.
I have a few friends who juggle between their gf’s and friends pretty well. It doesn’t always have to be a lose-win situation.
Like everyone has pointed out, jealousy is indeed natural. It might be wise – but not easy, to try not to overdo it though.
Haha.. april.. i have some male frens who are like that oso.. but luckily i have more which are not.. so guess i m just luckily..
Jealousy is normal.. sometime it proves sth good.. but most of the time.. it work out NOT very good.. mostly end up in quarreling or sth??
I duno whether it is true.. but for me.. jealousy sometime will make ur partner to control u or sth? Like say.. bf tell the gf not to do so and so because he will jealous. this kinda stuff la. hahaha! wad do u think?
wow…everyone have their own thought yah..that is a good thing for me to know how u guys think about this..
i don really agree with some, but i know, ppl have their own perception..
woon yien..
is happen to one of my BEST friend (male) and that make me feel so so sad.. i cant do anything, i see he is kinda happy with her but we not close anymore, he tried to spent time with me n some friends, but…. like what i said, he always on phone, and sometimes his gf come with us, but showing us her attitudes..or fight with him.. then everyone no mood already huhuhuh
well.. sometimes jealousy end up with quarreling, i agree, but sometimes, not all the time..is depends on the case…
errrmm…yeah, somtimes jealousy make us control our partner or the other round..(most of the time actually) lol
How you guys control jealousy?
Anyone who can tell me?
How to control ah? Very easy, just dont care lah… lol… They have their own life, you can control them. They choosed their path, then let them be. Sometime, things wouldnt follow exactly what you want them to be.
They have their own freedom to do what they want right?
Like me now, my friend now got gf already, I just dont want to kepo much about him. He also one of my best friend, but i know that his life has to goes on, cannot be single like me anymore. So when he goes and pak toh, I dont kepo, when he comes with me and study together, i just study together with him. I dont ask any question about his gf, because I not really interested to know. = =
ops cant edit post, “you can control them” ===> “you cant control them”
hahahhaha
no no no..i meant, jealousy for ourselves how to control the jealousy inside yourself.. jealousy in everything..not only in relationship…
Simple, April!
Always think of what you have that others don’t.
That’s how I control myself from being jealous. Because at the end of the day, everyone is special in their own way. Heee.
“jealousy for ourselves how to control the jealousy inside yourself.. jealousy in everything..not only in relationship… ”
I’ve one answer but it became too long so I’m not going to post it here. How can I make a post in this blog?
Dont jealous jealous lah. Dont think too much then you wouldnt jealous already. Simple makes perfect. =)
I oni have 1 criteria for my future bf.. that is he has to noe and mix well with my frens, I will oso get to noe and mix well with his frens, that way, whenever I go out with frens, he won’t mind.. Whenever he go out with his, I won’t mind as well.. Can even go out together with our frens, we won’t mind coz we adi noe them, can chat with them etc etc My ex was jealous whenever I go out with my frens *even lady frens* I’m a very active person, I dun wan my bf angry at me for going out with frens especially coz of jealousy o.O So, I set a rule for my future bf adi, which is the above.. Coz I still wanna stay close to my frens eventho I had a bf adi.. ^^
Hm.. jealous? Then try to achieve what tat person hav, then no more jealous, can be an encouragement too..
But yea, will feel left out when my best fren had a bf adi.. at least can still chat with her in front of her bf, but will feel her bf is left out pulak.. swt.. am happy she got a nice bf lo.. Will still keep in touch with her, chat about stuff ask how is her relationship, if got prob can share too, better than her handle it alone o.O Depends on ur fren’s partner whether can still stay close to frens lo..
*Dunno short terms so describe all, so long.. ^^”*
I dated a girl like that once, felt like a dog being dragged around on a tight leash
Sorry to barge in…but I just want to let everyone know that like before a new forum has been created on “Relationship & advice”. So if any of you feel like, you can start up new threads there as well:
http://www.swintalk.com/?page_id=43&forumaction=showforum&forum=19
Or just use the forum in general:
http://www.swintalk.com/forum/
Its still new, so please encourage yourself and others to start using it =)
Almost speechless… Everyone sure has their own “almost perfect choice of partner”, but there is only 1 thing that u really need…TRUST!
If u really like a have a bf/gf, just try to date a few times, know each other more (but at a limited LiNE). Then after some time of communicating, if u think ur ‘future partner’ can be trusted, then keep on goin ur ‘honeymoon’.
when you is in relationship, somehow friends would also stay away from being close with you anymore. they would think that they shouldnt have being “lightbulb” when go out with you. maybe should give some space to be together.
what if u and best friend has a gf that they both are enermy to each other? what would u and ur best friend do to solve the scenario when going out together? should u and ur best fren go out together and abandon our gf? or go out with gf and slowly ignoring best friend?
jealousy is part of a relationship…its inevitable…